I think I may just need to concede to the fact that I am NOT a morning person.  Let me stay up to all hours of the night and I’m fine.  That’s actually the best time for me to write, surrounded by the dark and quiet apartment.  I don’t know, I usually write about vampires, so maybe that also has something to do with it. Anyway, I’m just going to end up pushing everything back until I can get it done.

I receive my Horoscope everyday by email, and today really just hit the mark so I thought I might share with you.

General Daily Horoscope Influences

We may still be floating in the boundless fantasies spurred by the early morning conjunction of beautiful Venus and dreamy Neptune. But Venus and the Sun each make tough aspects to passionate Pluto, demanding that we give consideration to emotionally intense consequences of expressing our desires. But the Moon continues her visit to uplifting Sagittarius, helping us overcome the negativity that can temporarily stand between us and our success.

Aries : Monday, Feb 8th, 2010 – You might not be willing to justify your feelings today just because someone asks for an explanation. The truth is that your emotions are not subject to logic and analyzing them only detracts from your experience. Instead of attempting to make sense of your desires now, just share them when it’s appropriate without trying to get others to voice their approval. Remember, you don’t need anyone else’s permission to be yourself.

Fun, huh? Though, to be honest I’ve always had a very hard time applying logic to my feelings and expressing them to others.

On another completely random note: Fate is something that I believe in. I believe that everything happens for reason, but I also believe that you have the power to change your fate if you out forth the effort to. Nothing can be set in stone, and that if you will it to it be, what ever you wish for could come to pass.  I don’t mean to get all metaphysical on you, but things from my past are finding their way to my present. They remind me of who I used to be and add to who I am now.  I believe that I’ve found something that I’ve looking for.  And if I can straighten a few other things in my life, I will be very happy.

Anyway, I’m now currently in the process of re-writing the beginning of Grim Aspects. I’m really liking the new image of Adrian that I have in my mind.  When I first pictured him, he acted more like his age.  But when I thought about that last night, I realize that it really didn’t fit with how he looked like a twenty something kid. That’s when the sudden cord of inspiration struck me and Adrian’s new personality was born. It’s going to take a little effort not copy Ikuto’s character from Shugo Chara to refine it, but it’ll work.

This AMV totally sums up how I feel about life some times, not to mention it’s the perfect anime/song combination ever! Well, maybe not ever but close enough.

Everyone Else Has Had More Sex Than Me

I’m beginning to think that some wire in my life has gotten crossed with a couple others. Not only did I accidentally delete 7 of my friends while I was trying to rearrange them, I feel worse because I haven’t had a chance to find them and add them again.

I haven’t posted anywhere since I left Florida, so let’s play a little catch up?

We made the long drive up to NC last Saturday. We had stopped at South of the Boarder (tourist trap) to stretch our legs and tank up, and that’s when I got the call from my aunt. She said that there’d been a death in my Dad’s family and that my parents and brother, who are in Delaware, were already driving down to meet us in Raleigh. They stayed until Tuesday and even though it was a funeral that brought them down I was happy to see them, because I only get to see them a couple times a year. :/

This morning I was woken up by the phone – it’s my fault for setting the ringer on high. It was my Mom calling us to say that there’s been another death in my Dad’s family. I’m really feeling bad for him. I don’t know if they’re are coming down again, but if they do they’ll get in late tonight. So there’s probably going to be more craziness in my recently settled Aunt’s house.

I know I owe some people a few things. They are first on my list of things to do tomorrow. I just have to finish my 25 page paper by tonight, and hopefully make it to an important meeting by 6:30.

Really, what happened to my life? I thought things would settle down once I got here.

So, things are going a little better, but only a little. Credits finally transfered completely and everything is all go for my graduation. Yay. Now I’ve just got to pass my three summer classes and somehow make it to August 8th. My foot is doing better; still gets sore, but I don’t have to wear my boot. Other than that, meh….I enjoy staying with Roger, my uncle. It’s a lot of fun, but I still feel bad about my stuff everywhere. We tried to put as much as we could in storage, but some stuff we either couldn’t put in there because it was not allowed, like my art stuff (chemicals, and combustables), or it was expensive/irreplaceable, like my guitars, the electronics, our computers. And also because of the painting, EVERYTHING is just EVERYWHERE. I’ll be glad when the painters are done and gone, and I can clean and organize everything so it’s neat. Well, atleast until the carpet guys come next week.

Susan and Al get in early Friday morning, so I’m going to try and have everything clean by Thursday night. That should be fun. I’ve got a 20 page  due tomorrow, and a 10 page due next Thursday, Roger’s Going Away party next Friday, and Orlando next weekend. Oh, and three of our friends will be leaving to move to Portland that weekend too. So because of everything that’s going on, there’s a good chance that I won’t get a chance to see them before they leave. So that’s a major suckage there. :(

It’s a really sad but happy time in my life at the moment. Happy because Josh and I are really going to start our lives together in a new town, in our first place together. But sad because all my friends are going their seperate ways, going to start their own lives.  I guess I’m sad that not only will I not see them as often, but Josh and I are some of the last to go. It’s gotten to the point where I feel like I’m trapped in Tampa with no friends to talk to or hang with. I go out to school and come straight home. Frankly, that’s not that great for me. Not that I don’t have a million things I could do besides going out with friends, but it’d be nice to do something different for a change.

I haven’t been sleeping well. My headaches and migrains are coming back. I feel sick and just tired. I’m completely stressed out by school and the moving, and not knowing if Josh will get the job he wants, even if one of us will have a job at all when we move up to NC. I feel myself slipping back into depression again and I’m tiring really hard not to. I’ve been thinking about that alot, and I’ve been tiring to take breaks from my work and do something that makes me feel better. Watching anime, or working on my manuscript. Though, really I think it’s just lack of socialization. I know I have Josh, and I really depend on him, love him. But I can tell that even he is feeling restless here. At least he has Gary and Alan, and the rest of his friends at the EWB.

I’ve got to get back to my lovely 20pg paper that’s due tomorrow. I hope I can finish it in time. I might stop at the store on the way home and pick up supplies for an all nighter.