The Write Life

“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.” – Maria Robinson

Right when I’m thinking about new beginnings for myself, I saw the quote above retweeted by someone I follow. It really hit a chord with me, so let me tell you why.

Nothing is easy in life, but it is very easy to be led astray. Plans you made years ago just don’t work out, friends come and go; life happens and it can be ugly. Back when I graduated high school, my plan was to go to college, get an English degree, marry my high school sweetheart and then travel overseas and teach English in Japan. Looking back, only one of those things happened:  I went to college. But it’s ok. I did graduate – even if it was with a degree that’s done jack besides getting me a job.  A job at which I made new friends, and settled me into a new city that I didn’t really feel at home at. Now I can say, even though I still miss Florida, North Carolina is home. While none of all those other plans worked out for me, my life is pretty decent with a roof over my head, an awesome husband, and a job I love.

Life is full of ups and downs, and as one of my favorite artists sings “You can’t have the nice without the mean,You can’t have the good times without the hard times in-between.”  I’ve heard this around before but and I take it to heart: how are you suppose to know when you’ve got it good, if you haven’t had it bad? Bad things don’t always happen for a reason, but they can lead you to a change in your life that you may have needed.  I don’t want to promise that everything will be fine in the end if things turn badly because sometimes, they don’t; but most of the time, life can get better – if you’re willing to work for it.

My views on fate and destiny are very skewed. Yes, I believe that we each have a plan/fate/destiny that we’re working to fulfill, but if you want something, and want it badly enough, there’s nothing stopping you from accomplishing your dreams but yourself. Dreams are hard to reach. If they weren’t, they wouldn’t be dreams that are out there with the stars. They’d be leaves, or lint balls, anything that’s a dime a dozen and so common you don’t think twice about.  We have to work hard and put effort and energy into our dreams or one day it’s too late, and you think back “I could have done this or that. I really wish I had…” Live and work towards your goals and try your hardest, so that you have no regrets.

Dreams that I’m working towards:

• Being a healthy weight - this is my hardest dream, and the one I struggle with everyday.  I’m 50 lbs overweight and I’ve been trying to lose this weight for the better part of two years. I don’t have the money for any of those fancy programs like Jenny Craig or Weight Watcher, and definitely not able to afford a personal trainer, so all this has been on my own. This is usually what happens: by mostly watching what I eat, and I mean strictly, I’ll lose 5-9 lbs. But when I see that I’ve done so well I think, “Well, I can have just one cookie. I’ve been really good, one cookie won’t hurt.” But that one cookie turns into five, a box of doughnuts, fast food runs – and it’s all down hill from there.  I’ve been going back and forth like crazy, and just a few weeks ago, I nearly hit 180 lbs again. My goal weight is 145 lb. I’ve finally said enough is enough! This is what I’m doing about it: I watch what I eat, but not to the point where I’m crazy about it. I try and make healthier choices, smaller portions, and NO soda. I keep fast food and fried food to a minimum. I snack on almonds and sunflower seeds, I carry a water bottle and USE it all day. The Hubby and I go down to the gym (provided by our apartment complex, no extra charge) every morning. 15 – 20 minuets of cardio, my favorite is the treadmill, followed by a circuit of the weight machines.  It’s difficult trying to lose weight, but if you fall and gain some back, just find where you went wrong and try again, and again, until you reach your goal.
• Finishing a novel - I enjoy writing, but I find it hard to continue through and complete one project. I tend to jump back and forth between three or four of my WiPs. I’m trying to complete Grimm right now, but NaNo plots keep popping in my head. I just jot down these on a notepad and keep on typing.
• Going to Japan – While I no longer wish to teach English in Japan, I still really want to visit, and maybe even move there. It’s a dream that I’m afraid to lose. But it’s just another of life’s ups and downs. We save and save, but something comes along and takes a nice chunk out of the money. It’s kinda like the beginning of that Disney movie UP, minus the baby bit. The hubby and I are afraid it may not happen. What we’re doing about it? We try and save what we can, before we make big purchases we weight the options and ask ourselves: do we really need it? could we live with out it?

I find living life one of the hardest things I do everyday, just dealing with all the ups and downs, the crazy twists and turns. But even though it’s hard,  I’m happy to have this chance at life. Because I know that there are others out there that don’t have this chance; that don’t have the option or abilities to fulfill their dreams. I’ll help those I can and I’ll live my life to the fullest, enjoying the good times and all the hard times in-between.

Music above is Matt Butcher & The Revolvers “On My Mind”